Dear Loren,

Wow, already another year gone by. It’s been so many years, more than two decades now, and today still hits hard. I cry as I write this because I’m thinking about all the things I want to tell you and how I wish you were here physically to experience all of these moments with me, with us, with our friends and family.

Well, where do I even begin? For one, Robbert and I are engaged!! I can’t believe I’m getting married! I know I’ve said this to you before, and I’ll say it again, but you honestly would have loved Robbert. He is kind, funny, hardworking, creative, spontaneous, and just full of adventure and dreaming big. I am so happy to have found my life partner, and I know you would have been happy for me too. I’ve been thinking about the bike accident a lot recently as well; and how to this day, I still believe you saved me. How I lived, I can’t explain. It was a damn miracle and I definitely know you played a part in that. As crazy as this sounds, part of me feels that I was meant to live so I could meet Robbert and experience love in this way. I guess I’ll never really know but that thought brings me so much comfort so I’m just gonna run with it. I mean that’s what life is right? That’s what living is all about? Creating meaning about all our experiences? Our lives are basically a culmination of all the stories and meaning we give to our experiences. That’s what I like to think anyway. 

Sigh, I really wish you were. Robbert asked me to ask you if you could say hi to his mom up there for him. So if and when you get a chance, please say hi to Resie! I often wonder if you both are friends now. Okay, maybe not “friends” in the literal sense of the word, but perhaps acquaintances? LOL! Robbert and I understand each other in this way. Sometimes, I can’t fathom that I will never meet or know his mom, and in the same regard, he will never meet nor know you either. Not in this lifetime anyway. I think about our wedding day and how you both won’t be there, and it just makes me so sad. But alas, I know you both will be there in spirit somehow, celebrating with us the way you would celebrate in heaven.

Speaking of weddings, Lorel and Tim are also getting married in 2024! Can you believe both your little sisters are getting married? Since when did we grow up? Ah, growing up. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could go back in time to when you were still alive. To when we were children, when we weren’t even thinking about growing up? To those nights we shared a room and a bunk bed, and  I would fall asleep to your stories on your latest crush while listening to your favourite Westlife album? How I wish I could just go back in time, even for a second so I could hear your voice again. I really just want to hear your voice again.

Anyhow, another year, another letter. So until the next update, I love you and I miss you more than any words could ever express. 

Rest in Peace, my angel.

With love,

Your sister,

Loubelle 

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